Daddy's Never Coming Home
by Sparkle731
Summary: How did Starsky's father die and how did he end up in California? This story is told from a young Starsky's POV. Chapter 9 is up. Story is now complete
1. Chapter 1

**DADDY'S NEVER COMING HOME**

**How did Starsky's father die and how did he end up in California? This story is told from a young Starsky's POV.**

**CHAPTER 1**

My name is David Michael Starsky and I am twelve years old. I live in Brooklyn, New York with my parents, Michael and Rachel Starsky. I have a kid brother, Nicky who is six years old. My pop is a cop. He goes to work while my ma stays home and takes care of me and Nicky.

School is out for the summer and that gives me more time to hang out with my friends. At least when I can ditch Nicky. He wants to follow me around all the time. He was in the kitchen helping Ma make chocolate chip cookies so I slipped out the back door and ran down the alley behind our house to meet up with my friends.

Pete and Joey were waiting for me on the corner. They were talking to Ice, an older boy that belonged to a local gang called _The Scorpions. _We'd been hanging out with the gang for the past few weeks just drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. It made us feel cool and we all liked the attention we got from the older boys. I knew my dad would really skin me alive if he found out what I'd been up to but I was careful not to get caught.

"Hey, Curly," Ice greeted me with a crooked smile around the cigarette dangling from his mouth. "We were just getting ready to head over to the clubhouse. You comin' along?"

"Sure," I said with a shrug of my shoulders as I tried my best to look nonchalant about the invitation. "Whatever…sounds good to me." It didn't look good to act too eager to hang out with Ice and the rest of the gang.

The four of us began to stroll down the sidewalk. As we crossed to the opposite side of the street and headed east, my lower middle class neighborhood merged with a more desolate, unkempt area where the crime rate was significantly higher. The 'clubhouse' was actually an abandoned house six blocks away. The gang used it as a place to party and to take the girls that liked to hang out with them. Most of the other houses on the block were either empty or rented to addicts and hookers who didn't care what happened in their neighborhood.

Two of the other gang members, Snuff and Billy, were already there with a couple of six packs of beer. I sat on the ratty old sofa beside Snuff and reached out to snag a beer. I schooled my face not to show any distaste as I took a long swallow of the lukewarm brew. Drinking and smoking were just a couple of the bad habits I had already picked up from the older boys. I also knew how to hotwire a car, roll a joint, and pick a lock. All hidden talents that I knew my folks would never approve of.

When you're a Jewish and a cop's kid too it can be hard to fit in. I learned how to fight down and dirty early on. I liked hanging out with Ice and the other guys because they didn't judge me or treat me like a kid. All I wanted was to be accepted as I was and the guys in the gang did that. I knew they were grooming me to become part of the gang but I didn't care. I just wanted to belong.

"Hey, Curly," Snuff slurred "I scored some real good blow. You want a taste?" He looked at me with an amused smile already anticipating my answer.

"Naw, maybe later." I replied. The truth was I was scared to try anything besides pot. It gave me a nice easy buzz that mellowed me out but still allowed me to choose if I wanted to smoke it or not.

"Leave the kid alone." Ice said in a warning tone as he threw a pointed glare in Snuff's direction. Ice seemed to have made it his personal mission to watch out for me and not to let the others pressure me into doing anything I wasn't comfortable doing. I think it had to do with me reminding him of his kid brother who had died a couple of years ago. I don't know exactly how he died but I know it had something to do with the gang.

"I'll take some," Joey said with a smug look at me. He had always been more daring than the rest of us and a lot more reckless. His dad had left when he was born and his mom worked all the time so he was pretty much on his own. He'd already been in trouble with the cops and had spent a night in juvie.

"Later, dude," Snuff told him with a sneer as he glanced at me and Pete who was crouching on the floor beside me. "After the kiddies go home for din din."

"At least I got a home to go home to." I said without thinking. I immediately regretted my words. Sometimes I just didn't know when to keep my mouth shut.

Snuff jumped to his feet, his hands balled into fists at his side. In a menacing voice he got in my face. "You think you're a big man? You think you can take me? Then come on…let's get it on."

"Enough. Back off." Ice ordered firmly before I could reply. He didn't even raise his voice. As the informal leader of the gang everyone knew that Ice was in charge.

Snuff glared at me for a minute and then abruptly turned. "I'm outta here. Gonna go find me some sweet thang to cuddle up to…" He threw open the front door and left with a few choice words coloring the air.

"Geeze…what an ass," Billy muttered as he helped himself to another beer as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He leaned back against the cushions and closed his eyes drifting into a drunken haze.

Ice was sitting at the battered table in the far corner of the room. He pulled some papers out of his pocket and began to roll a joint. When he finished, he took a long drag and then held it out offering the rest of us a hit. Joey immediately jumped up to take a drag and then passed it to Pete, who took a hit and then offered it to me.

I took another swallow of my beer and sat the bottle down on the floor at my feet. Shaking my head at Pete, I stood up and said, "I gotta go. I'm gonna be in enough trouble as it is for sneaking out without telling ma where I was going. If I'm not home when Pop gets home, I'm really in for it."

Ice nodded as he helped himself to one of the remaining bottles of beer. "Take care of yourself, kid." He said "If you can make it…we're having a little party later. That cute little Chicano you like is gonna be here. You know she's got the hots for you. Maybe you'll get lucky."

"I'll see what I can do." I promised even though I knew it would be impossible to sneak out of the house once Pop got home from work. I strutted over to the door and opened it stepping out into the sunshine. I walked home as fast as I could. I knew I was in for it when I saw Pop's car parked in the driveway. Slowing my steps, I walked towards the front door and quietly opened it hoping to slip into the house unnoticed.

"POP! DAVY'S HOME!" Nicky squealed as he glanced in my direction from where he was sitting on the floor watching tv.

"Snitch," I growled under my breath as he jumped to his feet and ran into the kitchen out of my reach.

Pop came out of the kitchen and looked at me sternly. "Where have you been, David?" he asked in his no nonsense voice. "You had your mother worried sick when she couldn't find you."

"Sorry," I mumbled, quickly lowering my eyes to the floor and shifting my weight nervously from one foot to the other. "Pete wanted me to walk down to the Samuel's deli with him. I guess I forgot to tell Ma."

"I'm disappointed in you, David. You know better than to just take off like that," Michael Starsky scolded his eldest son. "You're going to have to be punished for ignoring the rules. Go to your room and stay there for the rest of the evening."

"Yes, sir," I said with a sigh. With heavy steps I climbed the stairs towards the second floor bedroom that I shared with Nicky. I knew I was getting off easy by just getting sent to my room without supper instead of getting whipped. But, having Pop say that he was disappointed in me hurt more than any whipping ever could.

I walked down the hall to my room and went in slamming the door behind me. Walking over to the window, I pulled back the curtain and looked outside. Darkness was starting to fall and lights were coming on up and down the street. Briefly I thought about trying to sneak out to the party with Ice and the gang but quickly discarded that idea. It wasn't worth taking the chance of getting caught. My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I hadn't eaten since lunch. My body seemed determined to remind me of my punishment.

"Oh, shut up…" I muttered in a disgusted voice. It wasn't the first time I'd been sent to bed without supper and I knew it probably wouldn't be the last. Turning away from the window I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling above me. Being sent to my room for the evening was boring as hell with nothing to do but stare at four walls. I guess that's why parents like to use it as a punishment.

Nicky came to bed at eight-thirty dressed in his little kid pajamas with the feet. I was already undressed and ready to turn in for the night. Nicky crawled under the covers on his bed and then turned to look at me with those puppy dog eyes.

"You still mad at me, Davy?" he lisped. He had recently lost both front teeth and it sounded funny when he talked.

"Naw, just forget it, kid." I said as I punched my pillow and tried to get comfortable. "I should have told Ma where I was going." I knew that was a lie. Ma would never have let me go anywhere near Ice and the rest of the gang. I reached out to turn off the lamp on the stand between our twin beds. As the room fell into darkness, I rolled over and closed my eyes to try and sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

"Look, kid," Ice said patiently as he rested a hand on my shoulder "All you have to do is stay outside and keep everybody out till we're done."

"Okay," I said hesitantly. I was proud that Ice had singled me out but I didn't want to appear too eager to please him. "What's in it for me?'

"How about two hours alone with Julie." Ice told me with a wolfish grin referring to one of the regulars that hung out with the gang.

My groin tightened with interest. Julie was a tall redhead in her late teens who liked to break in the new members of the gang. I'd fooled around with a couple of girls my own age, copping a feel here and there, but I hadn't actually gone all the way yet. And all I had to do was stand outside the clubhouse and make sure that nobody went inside while Ice and some of the other guys had some kind of secret meeting. That sounded easy enough.

Ice winked at me as he opened the door and went into the clubhouse, closing the door securely behind him. I leaned back against the wall and folded my arms across my chest, trying to look tough as I stood guard.

I'd been standing there for almost two hours when the door opened and Ice peered out through a gap in the doorway. "You can go home now, Curly. We're all done in here."

"What about Julie?" I asked. I didn't want him to forget what he had promised me for a reward.

"Be here Friday night," Ice said with a smirk. "I'll have it all set up. You did good, kid. Real good." He closed the door and I went on my way.

I got home in time to help mom fix supper. Nicky sat the table and we all sat down to eat. Pop had called Ma to tell her that something had come up and he was going to be late. You learn to adapt when you're married to a cop. The job always comes first.

I was sitting in front of the television doing my homework when Pop came home. He was almost three hours late. From the familiar look on his face I knew that whatever had kept him at work had been bad, really bad. He followed Ma into the kitchen and slumped down at the kitchen table. I knew that she had his supper waiting for him in the fridge all she had to do was heat it up for him.

I could hear the soft murmur of their voices but wasn't really paying much attention until I heard Pop mention _The Scorpions. _Forgetting about my homework, I lifted my head and deliberately listened to their quiet conversation.

"That poor child. Is she going to be all right?" Ma said in a shocked voice. Pop usually didn't share much about his day with Ma but sometimes something was so shocking, even to a hardened street cop like Pop that he needed to talk about it.

"I don't know," Pop said quietly "She was beaten pretty badly and raped by at least four different assailants. She identified them as being members of T_he Scorpions_ just before she lapsed into a coma. The doctors said she may not make it."

"Were you able to identify her?" Ma asked in that quiet, gentle voice she used when Pop needed to talk about his day.

"Her name is Melinda Rogers and she's only twelve years old." Pop said in a solemn voice. I could almost picture the serious look on his face. I knew that cases involving kids were always hard for Pop to deal with. That was one of the reasons he was so strict with me and Nicky. He knew what kind of dangers lurked out there for kids like us.

At the mention of the victim's name, I felt my stomach twist into knots. I went to school with a girl named Melinda Rogers. I didn't know her personally but she was in my English class. She was popular with a lot of friends but a little bit too stuck up for my taste. Someone like her would never go out with somebody like me anyway. We came from two different worlds.

I grabbed my books and went upstairs before I got caught eavesdropping. I was worried and scared as I thought about the mysterious meeting that Ice had had me stand guard over earlier that afternoon. I didn't want to think that I might have been standing guard while they raped Melinda. That made me just as guilty as they were if it was true.

I took a shower and went to my room but sleep was a long time coming. I tossed and turned, staring into the darkness as images of Melinda being hurt drifted through my mind. The next morning Ma noticed that I was sluggish and reached out to check my forehead for a fever when I slumped down at the kitchen table.

"I'm okay," I insisted as I pulled away from her hand. I lowered my head and began to eat my cereal. I could feel Ma's eyes on me for several seconds before she turned to the refrigerator to get Nicky's breakfast. I finished eating and excused myself from the table before Ma could divert her attention back to me. I grabbed my books and I was out the door without waiting for Nicky like I was supposed to.

Pete was waiting for me on the corner. As we began to walk towards school, he said, "Did you hear about Melinda Rogers? She's in the hospital and they don't know if she's gonna make it or not."

"I know. I heard Pop telling Ma about it last night," I said tensely. We walked in silence for several minutes. When you're our age you never think about anything bad happening to you or to someone you know. When it does, it really shakes you up.

As we approached the school, Pete looked at me and lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "I heard that Ice and some of the other guys had something to do with it."

"Who told you that?" I asked hoping to find out as much as I could about what had happened.

"Billy. He told me that Corey liked her and she blew him off," Pete said "So the guys decided to teach her a lesson."

"By beating her up and putting her in the hospital?" I said tightly. "That's not right."

Pete gave me a strange look and said, "What's it to you? You know the guys had to save face. They couldn't let some little _shiska _make them look bad."

I walked away and just left Pete standing there. I hurried into the building and lost myself in the crowd of kids lingering in the hallway. Pushing my way past some older kids standing by one of the lockers, I went out the back door and walked through the fenced in playground to the alley that ran behind the building. Within minutes, I had lost myself in the maze of inner city streets.

I shuffled along trying to clear my mind. I knew the code of the streets. I knew the gang had a reputation to uphold. I knew that, for Ice and the other guys, violence was an accepted way of life. But, I also knew that what had happened to Melinda was wrong. It didn't matter what she had done to offend someone in the gang. Sometimes it's hard to be a kid. Trying to learn to make your own decisions, deciding what's right or wrong, trying so hard to fit in. Especially when you're a skinny Jewish kid from Brooklyn.

After walking for most of the morning, I found myself just down the street from the clubhouse. I saw three black and white police cars parked at the curb in front of the abandoned building so I immediately turned and walked the other way. My heart was pounding with fear and I had to remind myself not to break into a run. Two blocks later I slowed my pace to a leisurely stroll and tried to get my breathing under control.

I timed my arrival home so that I got there at my usual time. Mom had a plate of freshly baked cookies sitting on the table for an afternoon snack. There was a note lying beside the plate of cookies letting me know that Ma had to run some errands but that she would be back in time for supper. That meant I was stuck watching Nicky in the meantime.

I had just poured two glasses of milk and sat them on the table when the front door opened and Nicky burst in.

"You weren't in school today," Nicky blurted out as he grabbed a handful of cookies from the plate. "I saw Pete and he asked me where you went."

"It's none of your business where I was and you'll keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you." I warned him with a menacing growl.

"I won't tell, Davy. I promise." He lisped even as he stuffed a cookie in his mouth. He grabbed his glass of milk and went into the living room to watch cartoons.

"You better not or I'll make you eat a worm," I called after him for good measure as I settled down at the table to enjoy my own snack.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER****3**

Eight days later, Melinda Rogers died without ever waking up and her parents immediately moved out of the neighborhood. I'd been laying low and pretty much avoiding Ice and the rest of the gang. I knew that Pop and the rest of the police were investigating the gang and trying to gather evidence against them for rape and murder.

I was relieved to discover that the rape and assault did not take place the afternoon that Ice had asked me to stand guard but, I had also heard thru the grapevine that the mysterious meeting they had was about what happened to Melinda later that day.

Either way I felt as if I had been involved even if it had only been indirectly.

I was in my room doing my homework when there was a light tap on the door. It opened and Pop came into the room. The expression on his face was solemn and serious. I knew something was up. I closed my book and sat up on the edge of my bed as Pop sank down on the mattress beside me.

"David, I need to ask you some questions and I need you to tell me the truth." Pop said firmly. "You're not in trouble but you need to tell me what you know."

"About what?" I asked deciding that it was to my advantage to play dumb until I knew exactly what Pop was asking me about.

"Have you been hanging out with that gang? _The__Scorpians?__"_

"A couple of times…" I reluctantly admitted. I could never lie to Pop when he asked me a direct question. He always seemed to know if I did.

"What kind of things did you do with them?"

"Drank a couple of times…smoked cigarettes…" I said wisely leaving out some of the other stuff I had done like learning how to pick locks and how to roll a joint. There are just some things you don't tell your parents, even if they tell you that you're not in trouble as long as you tell them the truth.

"David, I need to know if you know anything about what happened to Melinda Rogers."

"Only what I heard on the streets…" I said evasively. I made the mistake of lowering my eyes to the floor. Pop cupped my chin in his hand and forced me to raise my head and look him in the eyes.

"What did you hear, David?" He asked as he looked at me intently.

I sighed heavily and said, "The day she got hurt some of the guys had a special meeting at the clubhouse."

"Were you there?"

"Not inside…but Ice asked me to stand guard outside and make sure nobody came in till they were done."

"Who was at that meeting?"

I hesitated for a few minutes then looked at Pop and said quietly, "Ice, Billy, Snuff, Corey, and R.J."

"Do you think these boys are the ones who hurt Melinda?"

"I don't know. I heard that Corey was mad because she wouldn't go out with him so the gang decided to teach her a lesson…but that's all I know...I swear it is."

"I believe you, son," Pop said with a small smile as he reached out and ruffled my curls fondly. He looked at me intently and added, "I'm going to be straight with you…Ice and Corey were two of the assailants the victim was able to identify before she lapsed into a coma. Those two are going to be charged with her rape and murder. Hopefully, they will identify the other boys who were involved."

"Am I in trouble?" I asked, my bottom lip trembling against my will.

"No, not as long as you didn't have prior knowledge of what they had planned."

"I didn't." I insisted in a shaky voice.

"I want you to stay close to home and stay away from anyone involved with the gang…that includes any of your other friends who might be hanging out with them. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir." I said with a simple nod. I knew that, even though he didn't come right out and say it, Pop was worried that the gang might come after me if they found out that I had told him what I knew. Being labeled a snitch was the quickest way to end up dead on the streets.

Pop nodded and stood up. He left my room closing the door quietly behind him. I went back to my homework but I couldn't concentrate. Finally, I gave up trying and closed my history book. I stood up and stretched to work the kinks out of my back. I decided to go downstairs and see what I could find for a snack.

I heard voices coming from the kitchen as I walked down the stairs. I recognized the rough gravely voice of Pop's company. Uncle Joey. He was an old friend of Pop's. Nicky and I both called him 'Uncle" even though he wasn't any blood relation to us. I heard my name mentioned so I stopped on the steps and stood there listening to their conversation.

"I'll put the word out that nobody messes with Davy or they'll have to answer to me," Uncle Joey said in a voice that was roughened from years of heavy smoking. "Even these young punks will listen…if they know what's good for them."

"I just hope that I caught this in time before he got in too deep," Pop said. "Thank you for letting me know that he was hanging out with those boys."

"It was my duty as your friend. Davy is young but he's smart. He'll find his way…the right way…just like his papa."

I turned and crept back up the stairs to my room. I had never thought much about the fact that Pop and Joey were friends. I knew that Uncle Joey was well respected in the neighborhood, even feared by some, but I didn't know why. To me he was just Uncle Joey, a friend of the family who bought me and Nicky presents for our birthdays. I wondered how Joey had found out that I was hanging with Ice and the rest of the guys. But, I guess it didn't really matter how he found out. Pop knew now so I'd have to stay away from them.

I undressed and put on my pajamas. Nicky was spending the night with our cousin, Levi, so I had the room to myself for the night. The next day was Saturday so I had the whole weekend to enjoy myself before I had to go back to school on Monday. I slept in the next morning and then enjoyed a breakfast of pancakes with butter and syrup. After I had eaten, Ma handed me two dollars and said,

"Davy, I need for you to go down the Levistein's and get me some milk and a bag of flour. You can get yourself something with the chance."

"Okay," I said as I pocketed the money and headed for the front door. Levistein's was the neighborhood grocer that was only a couple of blocks from our house. He sold a little bit of everything and had shelves of penny candy for us kids. Outside the sun was shining brightly and a bunch of neighborhood kids were already gathered in a vacant lot across the street getting ready to play a game of stickball.

"Hey, David!" one of the older boys, Tony Rice, called to me. "Want to play?"

"I can't right now," I called back "I have to go to the store for Ma. Maybe when I get back."

"Okay." Tony said with a friendly wave as he turned his attention back to the other kids to help organize the game.

I continued on to the store and got the things Ma had sent me for along with a bottle of pop and a bag of candy for myself. As I left the store, Timmy Arnett, one of _The__Scorpions,_stepped in front of me blocking my path.

"Whatcha got there, kid?" he demanded eyeing the sack cradled in my left arm.

"Stuff for my Ma." I answered with a defiant tilt of my chin. Timmy wasn't one of my favorite people. I didn't like him and he didn't like me.

"Yeah? Well, then you better run on home before Mommy starts looking for you," Timmy said with a sneer. "Can't have anything happening to her little boy now, can we?'

I bristled at the perceived threat behind his words. "I can take care of myself." I said with a menacing growl. I took a step back and braced myself prepared to fight if I had to.

"Take my advice, kid…" Timmy said with a thin smile "Watch your back…it's dangerous out here on the streets…" With that parting shot, he turned and walked away.

Straightening my shoulders, I headed in the opposite direction towards home. I knew the lines had been drawn and I had been warned. I was no longer an accepted recruit for the gang. I was an outsider and would be treated as such from now on.

A week after Melinda died, Ice and Corey were arrested for her rape and murder. Since they were both sixteen that meant that they could be tried as adults. RJ took over as the unofficial leader of the gang and violence in the neighborhood began to escalate.

I was in the back yard playing toss with Nicky when Pete came into the yard and motioned with his head for me to join him. I threw the ball to Nicky and said,

"That's enough for now, Nicky. Take the ball in the house and tell Ma I'll be there in a minute." I waited until Nicky disappeared into the house before joining Pete. "Hey, what's up?" I greeted him in a friendly tone. We hadn't seen much of each other, except at school, since the incident with Melinda. I knew that, like me, Pete had been avoiding the rest of the gang members.

"Joey told me that Corey got knifed in a fight at the jail. His dad is really pissed and word on the streets is that he's going to get even with the cops for arresting his son." Corey's father was connected with one of the local mob families and his threats weren't to be taken lightly. "He knows that your dad's a cop and he thinks that you squealed on the gang."

"So what else is new?" I said in a flat tone. "He wouldn't be stupid enough to come after Pop."

"Maybe not, but he could still come after you," Pete said in a worried voice "I just figured you should know what's going down."

"Thanks. I appreciate it." I tried not to show any reaction to his warning. I knew he was just trying to be a friend by telling me what he had heard.

"My dad says we're moving away before something else bad happens." Pete told me sadly "I'm sure gonna miss ya, Davy."

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss you too," I said. I stood there and watched him walk away until he was out of sight then I went into the house. I thought about telling Pop about Pete's warning but decided to keep it to myself. No need to worry my folks unnecessarily.

Things seemed to quiet down and get back to normal, lulling me into a false sense of security. Pete had moved away with his folks and Joey ended up back in Juvie when he was caught with one of the gang members riding around in a stolen car. Corey recovered from his injuries and he was sentenced, along with Ice, for rape and first degree murder. They were both sentenced to life in prison. Sixteen years old and their lives were as good as over. I knew just how lucky I was that I hadn't gotten in deeper with the gang than I had.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER****4**

Four months later, my world as I knew came to an abrupt end. I was in bed asleep when I was jolted awake by Ma's screams. I jumped out of bed and ran out of my bedroom, stumbling my way down the steps in the dark. As I bolted down the stairs, I could see Ma standing at the front door. A uniformed officer stood silhouetted in the doorway. From the glare of the porch light, I recognized Jake Monroe, Pop's partner on the force. He was standing with his arms wrapped around Ma's waist and she was sobbing almost hysterically with her head on his shoulder.

"No…" I choked out as my mind registered the images in front of me. Even without being told there was a part of me that knew the truth. Pop was dead. Killed in the line of duty. When Pete raised his head and met my eyes, I could see the truth in his eyes. I turned and ran back up the stairs, slamming the door to my room and throwing myself down across my bed.

"Davy?" I heard Nicky's trembling voice in the darkness. "What's wrong? Did something happen to Ma?'

I didn't answer. I couldn't. My eyes burned with unshed tears and my chest ached terribly but I couldn't cry. I heard the bedroom door open and I knew that Nicky had left the room to find out for himself what was going on. A few minutes later, I sensed another presence in the room. From the heavy footsteps I knew that it was Jake. I felt the mattress shift with his weight as he sat down on the edge and put a gentle hand on my back, rubbing in a soothing circle. I pulled away from his touch. I didn't want his sympathy or his pity. Not if Pop was dead.

"You're going to have to be strong now, David…for your mother and for Nicky. They both need you right now." I heard Pete's words but I chose to ignore him, too wrapped up in my own grief to think about Ma and Nicky. Pete sat there for a few more minutes but he didn't try to force me to talk. Finally, he left closing the door quietly behind him.

Nobody got me up to go to school the next morning so I woke up later than usual. Nicky's bed was empty so I figured he'd probably spent the night with Ma in her room. I finally found the strength to crawl out of bed and took a shower before getting dressed for the day. I could hear the subdued sound of voices downstairs so I knew that other family members had started arriving to help Ma grieve and to prepare for the funeral.

Jewish customs dictate that a Jew be buried as soon as possible after death. The male members of the family would prepare Pop's body for the service and he would be laid to rest in a simple wooden coffin. Then the family would sit _Shiva_for seven days. The only other funeral I had ever attended was for my _Savta_ Starsky, Pop's mother, and I didn't remember too much about it.

I went downstairs and into the kitchen where a variety of food was already set out on the kitchen table. I helped myself to a couple of bagels and some lox with cream cheese. I grabbed a glass of milk out of the refrigerator and went out the back door into the yard.

I sat down in the shade of the big elm tree in the corner of the yard to eat my food. I nibbled at one of the bagels and then threw the second one away. I didn't have much of an appetite but I did was drink the milk.

The pain in my chest was still very real and my eyes felt dry and gritty from a lack of sleep. I wrapped the grief around myself like a shroud and buried the tears deep inside.

I was the man of the house now and I needed to start acting like it but, at the same time, I was still just a little boy who wanted his daddy.

The next few days were a blur and to be honest, I don't remember a lot of what happened. I withdrew into myself and didn't pay much attention to my surroundings. I spent most of the time in my room, leaving only to attend Pop's funeral and when Ma insisted that I sit _shiva_ with her and Nicky.

From the conversations among the adults around me, I figured out that Pop and Pete had been ambushed while on routine patrol and that Pop was shot and killed. In my mind I was convinced that Pop's murder was connected to _The __Scorpians_ and what had happened to Melinda Rogers even though there was no evidence that pointed to that. My grief was overwhelming and thoughts of revenge filled my mind.

Ma was devastated. She spent hours in her bedroom. I could hear her crying through the closed door. Nicky was too young to really understand much of what was going on. He understood that Pop had been shot and was never coming back but at his age the concept of death is hard to grasp.

Uncle Joey came around a lot in those first couple of weeks. He brought us food and gave Ma money. I know that he even helped pay for the funeral even though the police force picked up most of the tab since Pop was killed in the line of duty. He spent a lot of time with Nicky and he tried to include me in the things they did together but I just wanted to be left alone. Joey seemed to understand how I felt and he respected my feelings. I was grateful to him for that.

But, I was angry too because I felt like he was trying to take Pop's place and nobody was going to do that. With no outlet for the anger that smoldered inside of me, I started getting in trouble at school, mouthing off to the teachers and getting into fights with the other kids. I'd always had a temper, just like Pop, and I had always struggled to control it but now it seemed to flare up without any warning and using my fists was the only thing that seemed to make me feel better.

Ricky Granger was my latest victim. The nurse was fussing over him and taking care of his bloody nose while the shop teacher, Mr. Yardley, had my left arm in a iron grip to keep me from getting away before Mr. Bernstein, the principal, got there. I glared at Mr. Yardley sullenly when he tried to ask me what had happened and refused to answer any of his questions.

"What's going on here?" Mr. Bernstein demanded in his deep, rumbling voice as he joined the party. He glared at me angrily "Why doesn't it surprise me that you're involved in this, Mr. Starsky?" His voice was stern and he was doing his best to intimidate me without much success. "Let's go to my office while I call your mother."

I pulled my arm out of Mr. Yardley's grasp and stuffed my hands in my pockets as I strutted down the hallway in front of Mr. Bernstein. In his office, I slumped down in the chair facing his desk and stared at the floor sullenly. I listened with disinterest as he called Ma to tell her that I was in trouble again. My head jerked up in alarm when I heard him tell Ma that this time I was being suspended from school for a week.

As he hung up the phone, Mr. Bernstein looked at me grimly and said dismissively, "You can wait in the outer office until your mother arrives to pick you up."

I stood up and left the office without a backward glance. I slumped down in one of the plastic covered chairs lined up against one wall. I sat there staring at the floor as I waited impatiently for Ma to get there. I knew that she was going to be mad because she would have to leave work to come after me. After Pop died Ma had to go to work at a local deli to make ends meet. Pop's pension wasn't enough to support her and two growing boys.

Lost in my own thoughts, I looked up when a shadow fell over me. I was startled to see Uncle Joey standing there. Without saying a word, I stood up and meekly followed him out of the office to the big black car parked at the curb in front of the building. We climbed into the back seat and his driver immediately pulled into the street.

"Fighting and getting into trouble is not going to bring your papa back," Joey said softly as we drove through the inner city streets. "Your mama is working hard to take care of you boys…she doesn't need to keep worrying about you all the time."

"She doesn't need to worry about me," I said gruffly "Nobody does. I can take care of myself."

"Of course you can," Joey said mildly "But, you're trying to grow up too fast…your papa would be disappointed in you."

"Leave Pop out of this!" I yelled in a sudden flare of anger "He's dead and he ain't never coming back!"

"No, he isn't. But, you are not the only one who misses him." Joey said solemnly.

I fell into a sullen silence and turned my head to stare out the side window until we reached my house. I climbed out of the car without saying goodbye or thanking Joey for picking me up. Joey's car stayed parked at the curb and I could feel him watching me as I climbed up to the front stoop and took the spare key out of its hiding place. The car didn't pull away until I had unlocked door and went inside.

I had Nicky's snack waiting when he got home from school. He took his milk and cookies and went into the living room to watch television until Ma got home from work at five. I had a frozen casserole heating up in the oven when she came in the front door.

"Thank you, Davi…" she said in a tired voice as she hung her sweater on the rack beside the door. As she began to put the finishing touches on our evening meal, she said, "I am very disappointed in you, David. What have you been taught about fighting?"

"Not to do it," I said in a bored voice. I had heard the lecture before and I wasn't interested in hearing it again. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"You say that every time you get in trouble," Ma said in a weary voice "And it still happens again. It has to stop, David or I don't know what I'm going to do." She sighed heavily "Go wash up for supper."

I shrugged as I turned and walked away. All I seemed to do anymore was disappoint everyone around me. And I didn't know what to do about it.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER ****5**

Panting heavily to catch my breath, I darted into the old rundown building to hide until I could get my breathing under control. I could hear the sound of running footsteps rapidly approaching. I tried to control my rapidly beating heart and to slow down my heavy breathing to avoid being discovered by my pursuers. I had been out hanging out with some friends when we ran into R.J., Billy and two other members of _The__Scorpians_, Stoney and Blade.

R.J. made a derogatory remark about Pop getting killed and I immediately punched him in the mouth without thinking twice. The gang immediately closed ranks and rushed me. My friends ran away leaving me to face them alone. R.J. and Blade got in a couple of sucker punches before I managed to break loose and start running. They started chasing me and they had been after me for the last six blocks.

I heard them stop and Blade came in through the same broken window that I had used to gain entrance to the building.

"HERE HE IS! I FOUND THE LITTLE PRICK!" He yelled to the others as he dropped to the ground. I immediately scrambled through the empty building towards a metal stairway that led to the upper levels of the old warehouse. I could hear the gang closing in as I pulled myself up the steps towards the roof of the building. They were yelling and screaming obscenities describing in gory detail exactly what they were going to do to me when they caught me.

I slammed into the bar that opened the metal door that swung open onto the roof. I stumbled and fell to my knees ripping my jeans on the rough gravel surface. Ignoring the stinging pain of scraped skin, I jumped to my feet desperately looking for a place to either escape or to hide from the gang. I was trapped with nowhere to go.

With a fierce scowl I turned to face my assailants. They might be able to overpower me but I wasn't going to go down without a fight. Then I saw the weapons they had picked up somewhere along the way; a broken piece of two by four, a section of metal pipe, a broken bottle and a bike chain. I yelped in surprise when R.J. swung the bike chain wrapping it around my left leg and pulling me off balance. The gang was on me instantly; kicking, hitting and punching. I got in a few good licks of my own before the pain became too much to bear and darkness closed in around me.

Awareness returned in pieces. It felt like I was floating in the darkness and I could hear voices somewhere in the distance. Then the pain hit overwhelming me with it's intensity. I screamed silently in the depths of my mind as the darkness pulled me back under.

The next time I was aware of anything going on around me I felt like I was floating on a drugged high. My eyes felt heavy lidded and I could hear Ma's voice in my ear.

"David…baby…can you hear me? It's Mama. Open your eyes for me, baby…" I tried my best to do as she asked but my body refused to listen to my brain. I must have grunted or made some other kind of sound because I felt her cupping my face in her hand and heard the desperate hope in her voice, "David, baby…are you awake? Can you open your eyes for Mama?"

I finally managed to open my eyes enough to make out Ma's worried, frightened face smiling down at me. "Hurts…" I whimpered as I became more alert and felt the pain in various parts of my body.

"I know, baby," Ma said as she gently brushed her fingers through my dark curls. "But, the doctors said you're going to be all right…it's just going to take some time."

Suddenly exhausted I felt my eyes drifting shut. If Ma said it was going to be okay then I knew that I was safe. My last thought before I passed out was that I must be in a hospital.

The next time I opened my eyes it was dark in the room and I was alone. Taking shallow breathes I carefully took stock of my injuries. Everything seemed to hurt. My head pounded and my neck felt stiff and sore. My chest throbbed with pain and I couldn't take a deep breath without it hurting. My left arm and my left leg were both in a heavy cast. That sucked since I was a lefty. My face hurt, my hands hurt, my back hurt, every inch of my body seemed to hurt somewhere. Now I would have to pay the price for surviving the vicious attack.

There was an IV running into my right arm and other tubes snaked out from under the sheet covering me. I didn't even want to guess where they were attached. I knew that I had been given something for the pain but it was wearing off. That was probably what had awakened me. A dim light from the hallway shone in through the open door to my room.

I heard a soft rustling sound and then a nurse came into the room. She was an older lady with gray hair and a face that reminded me of my homeroom teacher. She smiled warmly and said softly, "Well, hello there…it's good to see you awake." Cool fingers touched my right wrist as she took my pulse. When she had finished, she took a hypodermic needle out of her uniform pocket and injected the contents into my IV line. Almost immediately I felt the pain begin to fade away and my eyes grew heavy.

It was morning when I woke up and Ma was sitting beside my bed holding my free hand and running her thumb over my knuckles. "Hey, Ma…" I said in a hoarse voice that I barely recognized as my own.

"Hello, baby." Ma said with a watery smile. "You had us all scared for awhile but you're doing better now."

"Water?" I asked in a raspy whisper. Ma picked up a glass sitting on the stand beside my bed and held the flexible straw to my lips. I took a long swallow before pulling back to let her know that I'd had enough. "How long..." I asked, my voice fading out before I could finish the question.

"You've been here for almost six days. You were in a coma for four days after they brought you in. Your friends found a police officer and told him what was happening but it still took them almost eight hours to find you." Ma paused and brushed a tear from her cheek. "The boys who did this to you have all been arrested. They won't ever hurt you again."

"How bad?" I asked, still too weak and breathless to speak in complete sentences.

"You have a skull fracture with a concussion, a sprained neck, a dislocated left shoulder and your left arm is broken in three places. You also have four broken ribs, a badly bruised kidney, and your left ankle was severely broken in several places. Your left knee was also out of place. And you have several cuts on your hands, your arms and your back but the doctor called in a plastic surgeon so you shouldn't have any noticeable scars. There's also a lot of abrasions and bruises but they'll heal…"

I turned my head away ashamed to look in Ma's eyes. It hurt to know that I had scared her and put her through something like this so soon after losing Pop. I felt her soothing hand on my forehead and closed my eyes with a soft whimper and a sigh. Within minutes I was asleep again.

I spent almost two weeks in the hospital and it took that long for me to regain enough strength to even sit up in bed by myself. I had to go home in a wheelchair and once the casts came off I'd have to go to physical therapy to rebuild the muscle tone and strength in my arm and leg. I had to talk to the cops and give them a written statement about what had happened with R.J. and the rest of the gang. With them in jail because of me that just gave the gang another reason to single me out for further retaliation.

My Uncle Levi, one of Ma's brothers, took me and Ma home from the hospital. We had a large extended family scattered throughout Brooklyn and the Bronx. Ma's parents, her four brothers and her two sisters had emigrated from Poland after the war. Pop's mother and his two brothers came to New York a few years later. They had all settled in New York like hundreds of other Jewish immigrants before them and the only one who had ever left was Ma's brother Al who lived in California. He had been stationed there while he was in the service and had fallen in love with the climate deciding to stay there after he met his future wife who was living in Las Angeles with her family.

Home had never looked as good as it did that day. Uncle Levi carried me into the house while Ma followed behind him with my wheelchair. Nicky was excited to see me and gave me a picture he had colored to welcome me home. I grinned as I thanked him and used my right hand to ruffle his curls. He pulled away with a shy but pleased smile.

After being up for just a few hours I was ready to go back to bed. Uncle Levi helped Ma get me settled in the downstairs guest room before leaving us alone. Ma gave me my pain medication and antibiotics and kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm glad your home, baby…" she whispered. She walked over to the window and pulled the curtains so that the sunlight was blocked out and then she left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. I snuggled down into the covers as best I could and drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

Two months later, the cast on my arm came off and after some painful physical therapy I was finally able to do most things by myself again which was a big relief. My leg would have to remain in the cast for a few more weeks because my ankle had been broken so badly.

I had just come back from a therapy appointment at the hospital when Ma called me into the kitchen. Something in the tone of her voice alerted me to the seriousness of her mood. Wobbling across the room on my crutches, I went into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Ma automatically poured a glass of lemonade and sat it on the table in front of me.

"Thanks, Ma." I said with a grateful smile. Ma insisted that we drink milk, water, juice or lemonade. Occasionally, she would make a pitcher of ice tea. The one thing that was not allowed in our house was soft drinks which of course made Nicky and me more anxious to buy one whenever we had any extra money in our pocket.

"Davi, I need to talk to you about something," Ma said in that same serious tone she had used when she called me into the room. "Something important."

"Okay," I said in a quiet voice. I admit I was curious to find out what she had to talk to me about that was so serious.

"David, I'm worried about you. You've been so angry since your Papa died. All you've done is get into trouble and now this thing with this gang. I'm frightened. I don't want to lose you too…"

"You're not gonna lose me, Ma…" I tried to reassure her with a small smile.

"No, I'm not." She said firmly "Not to some gang, not to this city and not to yourself." She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Looking me directly in the eyes, she said "You look so much like your father…you're just like him…and I know how much you idolized him…" She sighed softly "That's why I'm sending you to Uncle Al and Aunt Rosie's in California for a few months."

"Why? What did I do wrong?" I cried out "Tell me what it was and I swear I won't do it again! Just don't make me go away."

"It's for your own good…and Joe thinks that you'll be safer this way…at least until things settle down a bit here."

"Joe thinks?" I said in a bitter voice "What's Joe got to do with anything? All he wants to do is to step into Pop's shoes and crawl into his bed!" I knew I'd made a mistake as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Ma's eyes darkened with rage and she slapped my cheek with her hand hard enough to snap my head sharply one side and to make my face sting with pain.

"Go to your room until you learn to mind your manners!" she said in a tightly controlled voice. "And don't bother coming out until you're ready to apologize!"

"Fine!" I said in a hurt filled voice as I stumbled to my feet and fumbled my way across the room. It was hardly a dignified exit but I didn't care. I was hurt, angry and scared. I went into the downstairs bedroom and slammed the door behind me. I wanted to scream or to vent my frustration and anger by punching something or someone. The thought that Ma might be desperate enough and fed up enough with my behavior to send me away terrified me. I barely knew Uncle Al and his wife, Rosie. They had been at Pop's funeral but they were still virtual strangers to me.

I knew that Uncle Joey had a lot of influence but I resented him encouraging Ma to send me away. To me it was just another betrayal by an adult that I thought I could trust. I knew that I had been out of line by saying what I had said to Ma but it had been in the back of my mind since Pop died. Uncle Joey kept trying to act like my father and I resented it.

I spent the evening in my room sulking. Nicky brought me a sandwich and a glass of milk but I told him that I didn't want it. Now my rumbling stomach was reminding me that that may not have been very smart. It was almost midnight so I figured Ma would be in bed. I quietly opened the bedroom door and crept into the hallway. I paused when I heard the faint murmur of voices coming from the living room. I stayed in the shadows, out of sight, as I eavesdropped once more. It was starting to become a habit and I knew I was likely to hear something I didn't want to hear but I listened anyway. I recognized Joey's voice immediately.

"You have no choice. David is running wild," Joey was saying softly "I can only do so much…but some things even I can not control. Not as long as Davy is still in the city."

"But, he's so angry. He's going to hate me for sending him away." Ma said. I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was trying not to cry.

"Maybe for awhile…but he'll understand when he gets older. It's for the best. It's the only way to protect him now."

I turned and slipped back into my room before I was discovered. My heart was pounding and my throat tightened, hurting with the need to cry. But, I refused to let the tears fall, even in the privacy of my room. I vowed that nobody would see how much it hurt and that I would never let anyone get close enough to me to hurt me like that again. A new fear clutched at my heart. From Ma's words, it almost sounded like I was leaving for good.

I threw myself down on the bed, face first, and buried my face in the pillow. Silently, I screamed out my rage and my frustration. Finally, I shoved myself off the bed and went back to the door, opening it and listening. Everything was silent. Joey must have left and Ma had gone to bed. Impulsively, I turned and opened the closet. I pulled a duffle bag out of a dark corner and began to fill it with a few clothes. If Ma wanted rid of me that bad, then I would leave but I'd do it on my terms. After stuffing a couple of shirts, some clean underwear and a few pairs of jeans into the duffle, I crept out of the room and into the kitchen. From the cabinets I grabbed a pack of cookies, a jar of peanut butter, an unopened loaf of bread, and some crackers. I shuffled out the back door before I could change my mind about leaving. I left my crutches behind. They would only slow me down even more than the bulky cast on my leg was going to.

The streets were dark and empty. It felt strange being out in the neighborhood so late at night. Everything looked different somehow, more sinister and dangerous. I began to wonder if I had made a mistake. Stubbornly, I kept walking, farther away from home.

Before long, my ankle was throbbing with pain from the unaccustomed activity. I knew I had to find a place to rest for a while. I ducked into a dark alley between two tenements and crouched down behind an overflowing metal dumpster. The smell was terrible but I was too tired to care. I curled up on the ground and, using my duffle bag as a pillow, I soon fell into an exhausted slumber.

When I opened my gritty eyes, I knew it was morning even though the sunlight barely penetrated the dark, dingy alley where I had spent the night. I gasped when I tried to pull myself to my feet and collapsed back to the ground when my ankle and leg refused to bear my weight. I blinked back angry, frustrated tears wondering what I was going to do now.

After a few more unsuccessful attempts, I finally managed to stumble to my feet. I leaned against the wall to one of the building for support as I slowly made my way to the end of the alley. I hobbled on my right foot with my left leg bent at the knee to keep from putting any weight on my ankle. As I made my way to the sidewalk, I realized that I wasn't as far from home as I thought I was. I sighed heavily and slumped back to the ground, landing on my butt with a thud.

I watched as the long black car pulled up to the curb and the back door opened. I wasn't surprised to see Uncle Joey climbing out of the car. Without a word, he walked over to where I was sitting and bent down gently lifting me up in his arms and carrying me back to the car. As he settled into the back seat beside me he instructed the driver to take us to the hospital.

As the driver pulled into the traffic, Joey turned to look at me with a stern expression on his face. In a gruff voice he said, "You scared your mother half to death. Running away is no way to face your problems. Only cowards run away and I know you are not a coward."

"Why should you care?" I spat out bitterly "Ma wants to get rid of me. She doesn't want me around anymore."

"Davy, Davy…I know you don't really believe that. Your mama loves you very much…she's worried about you. So am I. I know you don't understand now…but someday you will. Your Mama is sending you away to save you from this city and from yourself."

I feel into a sullen silence, refusing to speak the rest of the way to the hospital. After spending several hours in the emergency room, the doctor finally fitted me for a new cast and lectured me about using my crutches to keep my weight off my injured ankle. Joey had sent his driver after Ma and he left the hospital once she arrived but, I refused to talk to her too.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

The next day, I found myself on a bus headed for California. Ma sure didn't waste any time sending me away. She already had my stuff packed and ready to go. No matter how much it hurt, I still refused to cry. I stared out the window as the bus left the city carrying me away from the only home I had ever known.

It took almost a week for that bus to reach California. I slept when I could and stared out of the window the rest of the time fascinated in spite of myself by the changing scenery and landscape. I saw things I had learned about in school or saw on TV but never imagined I would actually get to see. The bus made frequent stops and I learned to make good use of each break, stretching my legs, relieving my full bladder, or grabbing something cheap to eat and drink.

The weather changed noticeably as the bus headed west. It was October when I left New York so it was cold and damp in the city but the farther away from the east coast the bus went the milder and warmer the climate got. When we reached California the sun was shining brightly and the temperature was in the mid-eighties. It felt strange to see palm trees and orange trees decorating the landscape.

The bus pulled into the station and stopped. I stayed in my seat as the other passengers around me stood up and began to disembark. I waited until everyone else was off the bus before standing up and making my way down the aisle. As I stepped off the bus, I saw my Uncle Al standing there waiting for me. He was Pop's younger brother but the only resemblance to Pop was the olive toned skin and the dark curly hair.

"David!" He called my name unnecessarily waving his hand in the air. I sighed heavily as I slowly walked towards him and my own uncertain future. Al clamped a friendly hand on my shoulder with a warm smile but I pulled away from his touch. He ignored my sullen attitude and said, "You must be tired after that long ride. Let's get you home. Rosie's going all out for supper tonight."

Without a word, I shifted my stuffed duffle bag from one hand to the other as I followed him through the crowded terminal. He led the way to a newer model ford that was parked at the curb. As we climbed into the front seat, he said, "You like this little baby? I own my own car lot so I have a lot of these little beauties available."

"It's okay…" I mumbled. I had always had an interest in cars but I wasn't about to let Al know that. The less I shared with him about my interests or my hobbies the better. I might have to be here for now but I didn't plan on being here forever.

I stared out the window at my new surroundings as Al pulled out of the parking lot and merged with the heavy traffic. I knew that Bay City was technically a suburb of Los Angeles and that Al had made his home here since his discharge from the Navy. Aunt Rosie had been born and raised in Bay City but that was about all I knew about either one of them. They were both a couple of years younger than Ma and they had no children of their own.

Al drove to a middle class neighborhood not far from downtown Bay City. The palm tree lined streets with the one story ranch style houses and neatly trimmed lawns was a complete opposite from my own deteriorating Brooklyn neighborhood. Al lived in a house at the end of a cul-de-sac with two pink flamingos sitting in the front yard and rose bushes planted by the front door.

Al pulled into the drive and shut off the engine. The front door immediately opened and Aunt Rosie stepped out onto the front stoop. She was as fair as Al was dark with a light tan and dark blonde hair that had lighter blonde highlights. She wore her hair short and neatly trimmed in one of the latest styles. She was dressed in a plaid shirt and jeans, unusual attire for a woman her age; at least it would have been in New York. California was going to take some getting used to. Everything was totally different than what I was used to.

As soon as I reached the doorway, Rosie threw her arms around me and began kissing my face. I instinctively pulled away uncomfortable with the display of affection from someone I barely knew.

"Come in. Come in." Rosie gushed enthusiastically grabbing my arm and tugging me into the house. I stumbled into the living room hopping on my crutches as I made my way to the sofa.

"Rosie, let the boy catch his breath." Al chided his wife with a fond smile. "He's exhausted from that long bus ride."

"And I'm sure he's starving. Davy, you stay right there and I'll get you a plate. I hope you like meatloaf." I breathed a faint sigh of relief as she scurried into the kitchen to bring me some food.

Al chuckled as he sat down in an easy chair beside the sofa. "Don't worry. You'll get used to her."

"Is she always like this?" I found myself asking.

"Pretty much." Al said with a grin as he picked up the newspaper sitting on the coffee table and began to read.

Rosie breezed back into the room and presented me with a loaded plate. There was a slab of meatloaf covered with gravy, a pile of lumpy mashed potatoes and a slightly burnt dinner roll. My growling stomach reminded me how hungry I was and I took a big bite.

It was immediately apparent that Rosie wasn't anywhere near the cook that Ma was. The meatloaf was dry and too salty while the potatoes weren't seasoned enough. Remembering my manners I cleaned my plate and politely declined Rosie's offer of seconds. I couldn't help but notice that Al turned down seconds too.

After we had eaten, Al showed me to my room. It was located at the back of the house beside Rose and Al's bedroom. The room was bigger than the one back home that I shared with Nicky and the walls were painted a pale blue with white trim. The walls were bare and the room had an empty, unused feel to it. I assumed that it had probably been used as a guest room before my arrival.

"You can decorate the room however you like." Al told me. "Put up some posters…some pictures from home."

"Whatever…" I mumbled uninterested in interior decorating at the moment. As far as I was concerned this was just a place to sleep. I didn't intend on settling in and making myself at home.

"Well, I guess I'll let you unpack. I'm sure you want to rest and maybe turn in early." Al said "Rosie and I will be in the other room if you need anything. Just make yourself at home."

He left the room closing the door quietly behind him. I opened my duffle bag and began to put away the clothes that Ma had packed. The familiar scent that I associated with Ma seemed to cling to everything making me feel homesick and rekindling my anger and resentment at being sent away. In the bottom of the bag, I found a framed picture of me and Pop. I was only six in the picture and Pop was holding me in his arms. I was wearing his police hat, the bill of the cap almost covering my eyes. I felt my eyes flooding with tears as I carefully sat the picture on the nightstand beside my bed.

Under the picture was an envelope with my name written on the front in Ma's distinctive script. As I picked it up, I could feel the unusual weight of the envelope. I tore it open and took out the single sheet of folded paper I found inside. I also found Pop's pinkie rings nestled inside. A single tear slid down my cheek as I clutched the rings in my hand and opened the letter.

_My dearest Davi,_

_I know you are angry with me and hurting right now. I wish I could take away your pain but I can not. I know you don't understand why I am sending you to stay with Rosie and Al for now. But, believe me, it is for the best. You will be safe there and I know that they will take good care of you. Give them a chance. Don't take your anger at me out on them. _

_I am sending you your papa's rings. He always wanted you to have them…just not so soon. Remember him and the man he was when you wear them. He loved you and Nicky so much. You boys were his whole world. _

_Write me when you can and I will call you every Friday night at eight o'clock. If you don't want to talk to me right now, I will understand. I love you my son and I miss you more than you will ever know._

_Love Mama_

I thought about crumbling the letter into a ball and tossing it in the trashcan sitting beside the dresser but I didn't. Instead I refolded it and put it back in the envelope along with the precious rings. I opened a dresser drawer and slipped the envelope inside. Throwing myself down on the single bed with the colorful spread, I quietly cried myself to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

"Hey, Jew boy," one of the older boys yelled in my direction "Why don't you go back where you belong?" His laughter and the laughter of his friends echoed in my head as I stiffened my shoulders and walked in the opposite direction. If I got in another fight at my new school I'd really be in trouble.

Even the school here was different. Back home, there are been a mixture of cultures and races. But, here there were only a few black and no other Jewish kids. That just made me stand out more among all the California beach bunnies and surfer boys. It didn't help that I was short for my age and skinny.

So far, I had only made one friend, a black boy my age that went by the nickname 'Huggy Bear'. We were in the same grade but only had a couple of classes together. Our unlikely friendship had been struck up my third day at school when a group of older boys singled me out to pick on. I was holding my own pretty good when Huggy and a couple of his friends decided to intervene on my behalf. Grateful for their help, I began hanging out with Huggy. He was teaching me how to survive on the streets of Bay City. I might be almost three thousand miles from home but the lifestyle on the streets here was basically the same.

Huggy was waiting for me in the alley behind the building. I grinned as I joined him and he handed me the cigarette he had been smoking. I knew I shouldn't be smoking. It was not only a bad habit it was bad for your health. But, everyone else was doing it and I wanted to fit in. I had a pack of gum in my pocket so Rosie and Al wouldn't smell the smoke on my breath when I got home. Even if they smelt it on my clothes, I knew I could talk my way out of that.

"You wanna go down to the arcade and hang out?" Huggy asked me as he took a deep drag from our shared cigarette.

"Naw, I gotta get home soon." I tossed him a crooked grin. "Tonight's pizza night. Wanna come over?"

Huggy laughed. He'd been to my house and shared a few of Rosie's meals. He knew how much I looked forward to pizza night. It was quickly becoming one of my favorite foods. I was also starting to get a real addiction to junk food, especially French fries, tacos and burritos. I was helping Al out for a few hours each week at his car lot for some pocket money and I was rapidly discovering the huge variety of food available from the street venders in Bay City.

"Naw, Ma's fixing gumbo tonight and I never miss Mama's gumbo."

"I hear ya." I said as I took the last drag off the cigarette and stomped out the butt with the heel of my shoe. I dug the pack of gum out of my pocket and popped a piece in my mouth. "You wanna go to the matinee tomorrow?"

I had recently discovered a theatre not far from Rosie and Al's that played the old black and white movies from the 30's and 40's. Pop had enjoyed those kinds of movies and watching them always reminded me of him.

"I'll pass. You can go watch Bogie by yourself this time," Huggy said with a smirk. "I'll go with you the next they're showing Godzilla down at the Rivera."

"I'll hold you to that," I said with a chuckle as I turned and began to walk home. The cast had finally come off my leg and I was able to walk without a limp, but I still had a gait to my step that gave me a swagger when I walked. The doctor had warned me that because my ankle had been so badly broken it would always be weaker than my other one and more prone to sprains or broken bones.

The sky was balmy and I could smell the salt in the air. I had rapidly adapted to the California weather. I loved the fact that it was so warm this late this late in December. Back home the gray, slushy snow would be everywhere in the city and the air would be cold enough to sting your skin when you went outside. There might be a lot of things that I missed about New York but the cold winter weather was not one of them.

As I walked towards the house, I smiled at the Christmas decorations that adorned the houses in the neighborhood. Back home I'd had friends who celebrated Christmas even though my family didn't. I had always loved the bright lights and the excitement that seemed to linger in the air. Since Rosie wasn't Jewish for the first time in my life I was in a home where Christmas was celebrated.

According to Jewish tradition Nicky and I received gifts during Hanukkah but I wasn't used to getting so many presents at one time, not even on my birthday, especially expensive gifts. For my first Christmas in California I got a new bike, some new clothes, a new pair of sneakers, and a record player. Ma had even sent me ten dollars and Nicky had made me a card.

Inside the house, Aunt Rosie had Christmas carols playing on the radio. She really loved the season and went all out each year decorating the house, making candy and baking. Too bad her cooking was so bad. She even bought Santa Claus hats for everyone to wear. I had a good time and, for a little while, I even forgot how homesick I was.

The cast had finally come off my leg and I was able to walk without a limp, but I still had a gait to my step that gave me a swagger when I walked. The doctor had warned me that because my ankle had been so badly broken it would always be weaker than my other one and more prone to sprains or broken bones.

"David," Rosie called from the kitchen "A late Christmas present came for you. Why don't you come and see what it is?"

As I stepped into the kitchen, I suddenly found Nicky throwing himself in my arms and giggling. Stunned, I looked over to see Ma standing next to Rosie with a soft smile on her face.

"SURPRISE, DAVY!" Nicky yelled in an excited voice. "We been waiting and waiting for you to get here."

I grinned happily as I untangled myself from Nicky and threw myself into Ma's arms. I breathed deeply of the scent that I would always associate with my mother and hugged her tight. I never wanted to let go. Ma hugged me back and held me close in her loving embrace that I had missed so much.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" I asked, my voice muffled against Ma's shoulder.

"It wouldn't have been a surprise than," Ma said with a soft laugh.

"Did you come to get me?" I asked hopefully "Can I go home?"

Ma's eyes filled with sadness as she slowly shook her head, "No, my darling. Not yet. You need to stay here just a little bit longer."

I held back the bitter, angry tears that suddenly filled my eyes. I didn't want to stay here! I wanted to go home! I pulled out of her arms and turned. I hurried out of the room and went down the hall to my room slamming the door loudly behind me. I knew that I was being childish but I didn't care. I didn't belong here. This wasn't my home and it never would be!

A light tap on my door caught my attention and Nicky's voice lisped, "Davy? Can I come in?"

"No, go away." I said rudely. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, least of all Nicky. After all, he would be going back home with Ma instead of me. I heard his steps retreating back towards the living room. I knew that I had probably hurt his feelings but I didn't care. I needed to hurt somebody as much as I had been hurt.

I would have stayed in my room all evening except Al made me come out for supper when he got home. I joined the rest of my family in the kitchen and sat down at the table beside Nicky. He kept his eyes focused on the table as if he was afraid to meet my eyes. I felt bad about the way I had treated him earlier. I reached under the table and tickled his side, making him giggle. He turned to look at me with a shy smile. I smiled back to let him know that everything was okay.

After dinner, I visited with Ma and Nicky in the living room. Ma told me stories about everybody back home and gave me some letters from some of my old friends. At bedtime, Nicky went to my room with me. It was just like old times, sharing a room and a bed with my younger brother. I fell asleep feeling the familiar warmth of his small body curled up against me.

Ma and Nicky were only able to stay for two days before they had to go home. I managed to hold it together when we said our goodbyes but it still hurt to be left behind. I watched until their bus was out of sight before turning to head back to the car with Al.

As Al headed for home, he said,

"I know it hurts to not be going home with them but it is for the best. Someday you will understand."

"I'm so sick and tired of everybody telling me that someday I'll understand," I said bitterly. "All I understand is that Ma doesn't want me anymore. She's got Nicky. She don't need me."

"That's not true, David, and you know it," Al said with a certain amount of gruffness to his tone. "This is hurting your mother as much as it is you." A heavy silence filled the car that lasted the rest of the way home.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

When spring came I discovered sports at school. I had always liked playing stick ball back home but now I could play baseball and basketball for real. I might not be as big as some of the other guys on the teams but I was quick and agile which gave me the edge over the bigger players. I also discovered a competitive nature that made me strive to be the best. I still had a hard time letting anyone get too close but I did start to open up a little.

Huggy and I still spent a lot of time together but he was working for his uncle who owned a local deli so sometimes he had to cancel our plans. I was also working more hours for Al at the car lot learning how to make simple repairs and do body work. He had promised me a car when I turned sixteen as long as I stayed out of trouble. Nobody had come right out and said so but I knew I wouldn't be going back to New York any time soon.

The girls at school were starting to take notice too. All I had to do was turn on the charm and they were hooked. This sometimes led to more fights with their jealous boyfriends. I was getting quite a reputation for fighting and fighting dirty. I wasn't exactly proud of that fact but I didn't back down when I was challenged either.

I was slowly adjusting to my new life in California. In my heart I knew that I wouldn't be going back to New York anytime soon. I still felt abandoned and rejected by Ma. Rosie and Al did the best they could to make me feel at home but it just wasn't the same. With no children of their own they lavished all their attention on me. I am not ashamed to admit that I took advantage of that more than once especially if I wanted something. They were strict but not as strict as it had been at home when Pop was still alive.

Rosie made sure I was home on Friday nights to take Ma's weekly call. During her calls we would talk about everything and about nothing. Sometimes it hurt just to hear her voice on the other end of the line. I could feel the distance between us growing a little bit more every day. I knew it would probably be a long time before I saw Ma or Nicky again.

Turned out I was right about that. I didn't see them again until three years later when I graduated from high school. During that time, I had grown almost six inches and put on over thirty pounds of muscle. Nicky had grown up too. He was no longer the little kid I remembered. And Ma looked old and tired. And even though we all tried, there was a distance between us that we couldn't seem to breech.

Nicky had grown into a cocky fourteen year old with a mouth that would have gotten my mouth washed out with soap on a regular basis. I didn't like the way he seemed to push Ma around and say what he wanted. I also felt a little jealous because Ma would never have let me get away with acting like that. I found myself wondering who Nicky was hanging out with back in New York and what kind of trouble he might be getting into. I knew that Ma would never tell me not after sending me away to keep me out of trouble.

As I walked across that stage to accept my diploma I let my eyes sweep across the faces in the audience until I found Ma, Nick, Rose and Al. Nicky looked bored out of his mind but Ma and my surrogate parents all had huge, proud smiles on their faces. I grinned back and picked up the strut in my step. The future loomed ahead of me. I already knew that I wanted to be a cop just like Pop. I hadn't told anyone that yet. I knew Ma wouldn't be too happy about it and I doubted if Rosie or Al would be either. But, I was determined to be my own man and to stand on my own two feet. I guess Ma did me a favor after all by sending me out here to live.

The End? Or Just The Beginning?


End file.
